I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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