Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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