Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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