I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
