Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
