did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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