when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
