I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
