I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
