god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
