I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Is Oprah even human
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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