it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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