You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
