hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
the day after is always just damage control
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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