I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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