Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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