We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Randomize
