My nipple is on Facebook.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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