he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize