that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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