Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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