plz talk dirty to me
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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