dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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