Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize