Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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