I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
