is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
