Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize