but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
