Don't you send me to vm
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
