awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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