You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just google imaged poop.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
