Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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