For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
