chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
