she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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