normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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