we have pet lesbian snakes
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
