If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You pole danced in your parka.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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