hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
