Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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