i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I believe in your delicious
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
