My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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