Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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