dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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