If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize