Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
