Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
