It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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