I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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