well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
