How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
