I'm so fucking centered right now
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize