found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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