and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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