She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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