I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
