There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
