FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize