my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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