the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Randomize
