sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
