if i can run in heels then i can drive
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
