you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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