i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
