i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Panties = found
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