Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
