right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
