It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
