I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
it glows. i had to have it.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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