it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
