If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
