Me. At least after what I've been through.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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