Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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