He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
