Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize