Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
