No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
