I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
