DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
