If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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