what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
